Identifying, comprehending, and expressing our emotions in a way that promotes understanding and collaboration are some of the toughest problems we face as humans. Emotional literacy, or the capacity to recognise, comprehend, categorise, and constructively communicate emotions, can aid us in overcoming these difficulties. It promotes greater empathy as well as enhanced self-awareness (being aware of our needs at any given time and adjusting our behaviour or making decisions accordingly) (connecting with the feelings and needs of other people to get to know and understand them better). Additionally, it can aid in the development of empathy in speech (listening for the needs in what others share and communicating our needs to reduce conflicts, miscommunication, and misunderstandings).
Principle #1: We are constantly working to address everyone's needs (like physical safety, emotional support, respect, peace, learning, contribution, etc.).
What we need to unlearn is the notion that expressing or having desires is selfish. We label those who express their demands as needy, clinging, and self-obsessed.
What to learn instead: We all have needs, it's a fact. We frequently do not recognise our needs. Even if we are, we are unsure of how to communicate those demands without offending the listener.
Principle #2: Both our met and unmet needs can be inferred from our feelings, which include anger, disgust, joy, tranquilly, frustration, and relief.
What we need to relearn is the notion that some feelings, like trust, surprise, and enjoyment, are 'good' while others, like melancholy, contempt, and fear, are 'bad.' We have a tendency to pursue pleasant feelings and avoid unpleasant ones when we see our emotions as good or bad. We also refer to it as "toxic positivity."
What to know in place of: Understanding that emotions may be both pleasurable and painful is necessary to develop emotional literacy. Since they inform us of our satisfied and unsatisfied wants, they are neither good nor evil. When we are aware of the principle that governs our emotional wellbeing, we may identify the needs that give rise to our pleasant emotions and the needs that, when unmet, give rise to our bad emotions, allowing us to eventually manage our unpleasant emotions effectively.
Principle #3: We try to satisfy our underlying needs with all of our actions and inactions, including using our bodies (for example, talking, remaining silent, eating, running, etc.).
What we must relearn is that "This person loves to make my life a living hell!" "I'm sure they did that to watch me suffer," When the acts of those around us don't assist us meet our wants, we frequently assume things like this.
What to learn instead: People typically use their actions and inactions to suit their own needs while avoiding making our life harder. Understanding this entails accepting reality as it is and refraining from making erroneous assumptions and stories. As a result, we develop greater empathy and concentrate on promoting mutual understanding as opposed to blaming, grumbling, and passing judgement on others for being unhelpful, illiterate, or disruptive.
To help you better comprehend the three principles, below are a few instances.
You need and value open communication with your pals. When you phone them, nobody picks up. You become depressed since your needs aren't being addressed.
You require assistance and consideration because you are having trouble with a project at work. You ask a coworker for assistance, and they graciously give it to you in the form of advice and encouragement.
Because you value/need efficiency, you make an effort to stick to a schedule so that you can turn in your project on time. You're about to submit your work when the internet goes off, and you immediately begin to worry that you could miss the deadline.
You value and require open lines of communication with your friends. No one answers the phone when you call them. As a result of your needs not being met, you experience depression.
You are having problems with a project at work, and you need help and consideration. When you ask a coworker for help, they generously respond by offering you guidance and inspiration.
You try to keep to a timetable in order to submit your assignment on time because you value or need efficiency. When the internet goes out just as you're about to submit your work, you immediately start to fear that you could miss the submission deadline.
There is no good or bad emotion. They are indications of the needs we all share, which we try to satiate via both our actions and inactions. While those acts may eventually prove to be either healthy or unhealthy, emotions are neither good nor bad in and of themselves. We can relate to ourselves and others more fully the more adept we get at negotiating the cyclical interplay between wants, emotions, and behaviours.
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